To Do List
One of the banes of my existence is my brain. I feel like it works faster than I can manage. My motivation to move leaves much to be desired, and when I do manage to get myself moving, I do not have much stamina for my art. I’ve always refused to push myself when it comes to art because I don’t want to end up hating it for some reason. Either because I fail at meeting some expectations I have for myself, or because I’ve forced myself to draw even when it’s not fun anymore, for the sake of tacking things off my list.
Art has always been my escape, and to give myself any bad experiences with it terrifies me. Because of that, hardly any of my ideas ever even make it to paper as sketches, let alone completed pieces. I might gush to someone about my inspiration I had briefly, or even hold onto an idea for weeks on end without ever doing anything with it.
To be honest, it’s these ideas and the feelings that fill me with joy. That keep my art alive, it’s the very heartbeat of my soul, I think. It’s a feeling similar to love, or even a longing for something that doesn’t exist yet. Like hope, even.
I think about them when I want reprieve from the reality of life, I think about them when I lay down at night and hope to dream about them.
Here’s a list of a few of the ideas I have kind of rattling around in my brain right now:
A music video using the song Nightmares Never End by JT Music,
featuring Sigmund, Kage, and Aryz (she hasn’t been added to the collection yet, I can’t say much about her without spoiling some book stuff)
The visual part itself has already been partially sketched out already, I just need to transfer it from paper to my tablet, and refine each frame. I can’t make them super clean, because there will be so many frames. It’s been one of the hang-ups I have with this project specifically, because I don’t know where to stop in my process that is “good enough” for a project like that.
The story features a good bit of exposition regarding the plotline of my book, especially parts that I don’t think will be seen in the actual finished novel. Even I’m excited for what I have down on paper already, I just wish I could PRINT IT directly from my brain, you know?
Another, shorter music video using the end of Murders from one of my favorite albums, Hawaii Part II
This one would feature a couple of characters from my weekly D&D campaign with my friends. In that campaign I play Absolum, my phoenix sorcerer who punches things, and is a self proclaimed super hero of sorts.
In that game, we had a particularly crazy session where we were betrayed by a party member, another separate party member lost her mind and let a demon control her body, our wizard tried to EAT another party member who was possessed- it was wild and stressful in the moment. So much drama in the whole game, and it’s put a good bit of distance between a couple of the party members now. It was a great game, no doubt. I haven’t played in one quite like it in a longggg time.
I wanted the piece to be just a couple of frames that needed drawing. Tiktok material, you know? A couple of frames showing the sheer amount of chaos that took place in that session.
A 3D Model or three, two dragons (different kinds) and one human model which I don’t think I’ll actually finish.
The two dragon models I want to make are Kage, from my book, and the Dream Weaver from my Dnd Campaign
Kage is more cat-like while the Dream Weaver is more noodle-y. I have both of them started, it’s just a matter of devoting another couple days to each of them. Unfortunately, modeling Kage and my humanoid, Sigmund, doesn’t serve much practical purpose for me at the moment.
Sure it’d be cool to have one done so I can dabble with rigging them for animation, but at the moment these are on the back burner.
A couple of digital pieces for this site, since I had a couple of places where I felt like I didn’t quite have enough art for filling everything out. I’d like to remedy that by adding a few new pieces, which I’m collecting volunteers for.
For characters, I’m thinking Absolum of course.
Mizian, I need to update her design and give it a bit more personality, as well as make a better picture for her dragon form, which hasn’t had any attention since maybe 2018 or earlier.
A character who belongs to a friend of mine, named Brawn. He’s Absolum’s love interest at the moment.
A piece for my fiance’s brother, who wants to woodburn the design for his favorite smoke bar, which I didn’t know existed until I was told about them recently.
NaNoWriMo, an event that takes up the entirety of November, which is dedicated to writing 50,000 words in a month. The official event is geared towards novel writers, but it can be applied to other works like compendiums, biographies, anything really. I don’t intent to push myself to meet the 50,000, or to complete my book, but I do intent to set the month of November aside for writing, and maybe if I’m inspired I’ll also devote it to book related creative projects.
That’s all I can think of on my list for the moment, but believe me there are so many more, always.